free write -1/15/2013

totally stressed out wish i wasnt though, we are buying a house, we have to be packed and moved by the 21st of next month. on top of everything else i have school, and soon back to work, also have two kids to worry about getting them to their activities, and picking them up. it is hard especially when there is no control. i am not a control freak but i like some order to my life it makes me feel like i am accomplishing something. also we have to finish the basement to the house we are buying so my mom can move in she is getting older and about to retire and i would feel better knowing she is near by so i can take care of her she needs the help and needs to relax she is to stressed at her job and she is very sick and stubborn as well becasue she does not want to go to the doctor which i think is very silly. though i am the same way i dont go unless i am dying in pain and even then i wont go. today is the first day of school so i am very nervous i dont play well with others and not in the sense i am mean i am just very shy and have a hard time making friends mainly because i have trust issues from bad things that have happened through out my life. i am not sure if i will ever truely trust anyone only cause i have been hurt by close friends and mainly family. my life has been one hard knock life, but i keep chugging along hoping it will get better school is my first step to my gaining control of life. next step is figuing out what timpe of career i really want i have till the end of this semester to figure that out but with everything else such as moving and kids it hard to concentrate on what i want to do with myself i am going to try and figure this out by the end of the week or at the least end of the month. we have and inspector checking the  house on wend. i hope all goes well cause that is the main thing that will determine if we evne get the house. as long as it passes the inspection we are good to go if not then we will be back at the drawing board again. and we are running out of time that is for sure. his dad sold his house were we currently reside in and we all have to be out by march the first. so it is stressful we dont know what to expect and we hope all goes very well our future sort of depends on it.